I got trolled by a butterfly.
Last week, I was headed out after work to a friend’s house. I was running early (I know–I was shocked) so I figured that I would quickly swing by Whole Foods on the way to pick up a contribution for dinner. So I’m on Ashford Dunwoody Road, my Caruso soundtrack piping merrily away, when all of a sudden–traffic inexplicably came to a halt.
When you live in Atlanta, you learn that traffic is a way of life. It was no small irony that just a few days earlier I had read Rick Bragg’s essay on Atlanta traffic from Southern Living (aptly titled “Life in the Slow Lane”) . When you get stuck staring at the license plate of the car ahead as you creep along, you go through several stages:
- Denial: This is NOT happening.
- Anger: WHY are you cars not moving?? Oh, it’s Miss Important. You simply HAD to get through that traffic light and block the intersection so that the rest of us have to wait. What is WRONG with you???
- Bargaining: Ok, Left Turn Larry, I’ll give you all the change in my cupholder if you’ll just pull up that 3 feet you’ve left in front of you, the rest of us who need to make a right turn can easily slide around you, make our turn and keep things moving.
- Depression: I may never get home. I may never get to eat dinner. I may just be stuck here on until morning and then I’ll have to go back to the office without coffee.
- Acceptance: Well, I’m stuck here, but at least I have some good music and granola bars in the glovebox in case of emergency. This is even a good time to call Mom and catch up.
So there I am, working my way through the stages and I looked out the window: “Well, at least it’s not raining–and it’s nice to see some pretty weather…”. And at that exact moment (I swear this is true), I saw a yellow butterfly happily flitting down the road, passing cars with abandon and laughing the laugh of the truly carefree.
Yep. The BUTTERFLY was going faster than me. Troll level: 5000.
So what could I do but laugh? Life isn’t a race, and if I was stuck in this traffic, most likely, all of my friends were too, so at least we would all be late together. A few minutes later, Left Turn Larry managed to (finally) make his way into the correct lane and the Right Turn Club and I were able to pass the lepidopteran and get to the intersection. SUCCESS!!!
I now have a whole new definition of the Butterfly Effect (not the Ashton Kutcher movie.) In chaos theory, it’s the idea that one small and relatively insignificant action can have major impact at a later state or time (and interestingly, when plotted mathematically as seen here, the equation actually does look like a butterfly). In other words, the flap of a butterfly’s wings here causes a destructive tornado half a world away. My particular butterfly’s effect was no less transformational: I went from mad-at-the-world to tickled-pink in .001 seconds flat.
So often we find ourselves plodding along an ever-deepening trench, always looking forward, but never venturing to gaze to either side. While it is important to stay focused on the goal, it is equally important that the goal is a step towards the overall plan. So the other day, my immediate goal (my “what”) was to get past the intersection and to my friend’s house but my ultimate “why” was to spend time relaxing and recharging with friends. Deceptively simple? Yes. Unattainable? Not in the least. As I sat there on the road, I could have opted to angrily veer out on the shoulder, peeling gravel and spewing expletives at Left Turn Larry and Miss Important as I raced to my destination, and while it is possible that I would have arrived sooner, I might also have significantly injured someone. At the very least, it would have been unpleasant and unnecessary, and I would have missed out on the butterfly and certainly the laugh and endorphins that followed (not to mention a great blog topic).
So with that in mind, I challenge each of you to pick one of the values above and search your recent interactions. Notice the ways your colleagues, friends, family, kids, spouse are or have been butterflies for you. And if it makes sense, Recognize them. Create your own butterfly effect. Enough wings beating together and we will create our own tidal wave: a force for good in the world.
